Read this joke…….star me if you like it………………………………………………………….

Question by Coolbreeze22: Read this joke…….star me if you like it………………………………………………………….

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys in side and had to break a window to get my keys. “Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.” “When I finally got to the store, a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people.
All the time, the darn phone was ringing of f the hook.” He continued, “Then, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”
“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.

Best answer:

Answer by Will S
very cute, have a star.

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How to Change a Flat Tire is Episode #1 in the Vehicle Vibes podcast series brought to you by Allstate.

Changing a Flat Tire 101

Number one thing if you are stuck on the side of the road make sure you are as far off the road way as possible. Number two is to block the tires with chucks or large rocks to prevent the car from rolling off the jack. Number three places out safety cones or flares in front of and behind your car. This will help passing motorists see you, giving them enough time to pass you safely. The only other safety tip I can suggest is to please be safe while using a jack. Make sure it is placed in a safe place to lift the car and to always lower it slowly preventing you or the car anymore damage. Always check your air pressure in the spare tire before driving off. If it is low get air into it as soon as you can. Plus I would say after another 100 miles of driving on the tire it is good to recheck the air pressure and to make sure the lug nuts are still good and snug.

Removing the flat tire

The first thing you will need to do is loosen the lug nuts on the flat tire. You can use either the four way wrench (usually located in the trunk with the jack) or a socket wrench with a breaker bar. If the lug nuts are covered up the cover can be either pried off or removed with a special key provided with the car. I usually keep my key in the glove box. Then the next step is to jack the car up so the tire is lifted of the ground. Most cars are equipped with jack located in the trunk and there are marked areas on the frame of the car where you can place the jack so it is safe to use. I use my own hydraulic jack which I find a lot easier and faster. After the car is safely raised up you can finish removing the lug nuts and place them in a safe place so they don’t get lost or scattered around. Now you are ready to remove the tire. Lifting up on the tire and pulling it towards you should work but if the tire is stubborn you may have to rock it back and forth to break it loose. After you have removed the tire place it safely out of the way or in the trunk of your vehicle or wherever the spare tire is located.

Mounting the good tire

I find it easiest to place the good tire on the ground just in front of the lugs and then sitting on the ground just in front of it with my legs startling both sides. If you have some lube handy, it might be a good idea to coat the lugs with it. This will help make the nuts easier to remove the next time you have to change or rotate your tires. Then I line the holes on the rim of tire up with the lugs and lift up the tire and slide it on the lugs. Now while holding the tire flat up against the wheel you can start the lug nuts back on their posts hand tightening them until you has all of them on. Now you can use your four way or socket wrench to tighten them almost all the way. Start with the nut at the top and then tighten the one opposite working your way around the tire so that the tire is mounted evenly. After you’re done with this you may lower the car down off the jack slowly. Then you can tighten the lugs firmly. I would go about a quarter of a turn past snug.