Actual Funnies from the police! Star if you laugh!?

by Sidereal

Question by suesysgoddess: Actual Funnies from the police! Star if you laugh!?

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder that the one you just went through.”

#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

# 14 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

(continued in details)
#7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.
Sign here.”

Star if you laugh!

Best answer:

Answer by ebettis
Some of those are funny, but is that really a question? My feelings will be hurt if this question doesn’t get pulled and mine did. I am not going to report it though… star for you!

Give your answer to this question below!

Please read other answers to this question at the very bottom of this page, below you will find a video and related articles that will try to answer the question, if you have a proper answer please post it at the bottom.

Tire separates from race car, and then reattaches itself Stock car race incident leaves fans bewildered

Video Rating: 4 / 5

Why Formula One Racing Is A Great Place For Testing Quality Tires

Tires could well be the most important component on your car or truck, given that they affect the performance aspects of the car, including handling and acceleration to ride comfort and braking. Therefore, it’s absolutely necessary to maintain your tires and they probably deserve more attention than any other components of the car. However, most drivers just don’t think about the condition of their tires. A Department of Transportation study from 2001 stated that 60 to 80 percent of cars are have underinflated tires, 20 to 50 percent of them are driving with tires with low pressure, and 10 to 30 percent of these cars have tires with pressure as low as 30 percent of the recommended pressure. Underinflation is one of the main reasons why tires fail.

Every tire sidewall should have the manufacturer’s date code on it. It will be in the form of a four-digit number, showing the month and year the tire was produced. Unfortunately, there’s no expiration date. It is never a good idea to install tires on your vehicle that have been sitting on a warehouse for many years. A decent rule of thumb is not to purchase tires more than five years old, because if you use those tires for 5 years on your car, you will be driving with 10 year old tires towards the end of the tires’ lifetime.

Tires that have too little pressure in them can experience a very high temperature-much hotter than properly inflated ones. The pressure in the tire keeps the tread and sidewalls from flexing. Friction caused by this flexing generates heat, which causes the rubber and the fabric construction of the tire to degrade. Although the appearance of tires can be decent, it doesn’t mean the tires are still in good condition. It’s impossible to see if your tires are underinflated without the help of a tire pressure gauge. The proper pressures for tires can usually be found on a sticker on the driver’s door frame or inside the glovebox. They should also be in the owner’s manual.

While underinflation can be a big problem, overinflation can be as well. The maximum tire inflation pressures are printed on the sidewall of the tires, and not necessarily what the vehicle manufacturer recommends. Overinflated tires will have poor traction, and the tread will wear away quickly in the center.

Deterioration of tires is also harmful for tires. Things such as ozone, road chemicals and ultraviolet light degrade the rubber on tires. But this is probably more of a problem for RV and trailer tires mounted on vehicles that are stored outside in the sun. Tire covers will keep the UV rays at bay longer. Avoid ozone damage by not storing unused tires near any ozone sources like electrical equipment or motors, pool chemicals or the like-especially indoors. Tire sidewall rubber is permeated with oils that are designed to leach out slowly and protect the rubber. Often times, aftermarket tire protectants will remove these oils, which is why they are not recommended. A small amount of weather-checking is normal. If the cracks appear on the fabric sidewall plies, it’s a sign that tires need to be replaced.

Any sharp foreign object that penetrates the tire far enough to cause an air leak can be reasons to require the tire to be removed from the wheel and inspected by a tire technician for damage to the inside of the carcass. A temporary repair can be an application of an externally applied plug or worm. Repairing tires involves patching tires from the inside with a plug that not only holds air but prevents water from going into the carcass’s belt plies. Water in that part of the tire can cause it to become weaker. However, a tire sidewall cannot be repaired.

Formula one will be the best place for the tire manufacturers to prove their supremacy. The companies that provide their tires for formula one racing are the Michelin, bridge stone, Dunlop, Pirelli, Good year, fire stone etc. All of them are leading manufacturer in tires with their research and development growing day by day. Tires are the deciding factors in the Formula one racing. Tires should be used according to the conditions in the racing tracks like hot and wet conditions. Let us have a discussion that will help in gaining some knowledge about the tire types that are used in the racing.

According to the design of the tread there are three variations known as the wet tires, slick tires and the intermediate tires. The wet tire is used in the wet track conditions in which it will remove a large amount of water from the track and allows the car to have a grip on the track. The slick tires are the one that is used in all kinds of race which suit the dry tracks. As the name suggests the intermediate tires have a thread cut that is very much capable of removing the water from the track and also have a considerable grip to the racing surface.

The pressure in side the tire is more important to be considered in racing circuits. If the pressure is low, then the speed of the car is affected along with a possible chance of the car touching the ground. This will result in crashing of the car. If there is more pressure then the grip of the car is very less. The gas that is used in formula one tire is nitrogen gas that is not used for common purposes. The normal pressure that most car company in formula one uses is 1.1 bars.

McLaren formula one team uses the tires that are made by Bridge stone. They use the Potenza model of tires manufactured by them for better grip and durability. Similar kind of tire is used by the Ferrari team also. Most of them use bridge stone model of tires in racing circuit. But they choose the size of the tires according to the suggestions from their technical team. Customized tires are made for each team by bridge stone. The Michelin tires have faltered in the 2006 season which made a down fall to their business in formula one.